Friday, November 4, 2011

Remember - 5 Minute Friday

One flash -
like lightning in the mind...

and snatches of images and thoughts (more like beliefs) from my life all traverse my mind...the sameness of these last homeschooling years, the teen years of the boys before that, their early childhood, and then a leap to mine, and the thought of shame, ground in, stamped into, deeply forming even my bones, my bones of soul and spirit...and I stop abruptly.

Here I wanted to write something profound and deeply moving and of course spiritually inspiring, and I end up at the depth of shame that my life once held, and even now, there are times when I know I haven't gotten the bone marrow transplant yet, even tho' the rest of the disease has been arrested and healed...

I debated (before I started) whether to write this or not...if people knew shame was such an issue - still - would they want my art? Would they want my words? Would they want my counsel? Perhaps not, not all, not the ones who are seeking a refreshing drink before they go on their way, but perhaps the ones who would pause, take their drink, and then stay by my shoulder to offer their own small meal of loaves and fishes, hoping along with myself that Jesus would again create the miracle of multiplying our offering to feed thousands....

After the 5:
I had a friend (remembering her!) who used to love to take words apart and play with how the individual words develop the meaning of the word just dissected...so "remember" would be "re - member"...to member again.  And I think that is what the miracle Jesus brings into healing our shame entails, to "member us again"...
  • when "member" means parts of our body - He puts back and heals that which was damaged or even chopped off...as He healed a man's withered arm or a man's chopped off ear and even gave eyes/sight to one who never had any...He gives back parts of me that were withered, chopped off, or were never there due to the shame that became a part of me...
  •  when "member" means I am part of a larger body - He places me back where I belong, in the midst of other believers...and helps me be risky as I join with others, as I begin to be used within a group, as my weakness becomes strength...

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