Monday, March 25, 2013

What to do When You Fail in Making the New Habit...{Finding Sanctuary - Part 20}

Something I have been working one - titled "Metamorphosis"
I blew it this past week.

I blew it sometime on Friday, the increasing resistance to doing school last week {we homeschool} caused me to move from the place of calm maturity to that of the weight of her future success being totally on my shoulders at that moment, and it was too much to bear.

I wasn't yelling, I kept my outward composure, but I let sweet tweener know I wasn't happy about the situation...and she wasn't happy about the consequence...

While others may say that I hadn't blown it, I knew that I was not experiencing that place of peace and knowing that "He has it all under control"...I was shaking on the inside...I felt "out of control" and I was desperately trying to release that flash of anger in a healthy way.  And when I knew it had passed, I knocked on her bedroom door {where she was - working through her own emotions}...

I let sweet tweener know that I had "blown it", even tho' she had to continue with the consequence for her own wrong, because she knows God and I have been on this journey for Lent this year.  After talking with her, I heard the "got new message" tone on my phone, and it was so perfect!  Her youth department sends scripture occasionally, just to encourage - and that was the was Romans 12:12 NIV:
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
It was like He gave us both a hug...

Then, when I checked emails for the final time that evening, this was in my inbox...someone else, brave enough to talk about their anger:

How to deal with (your own) anger - from Simple Homeschool

So...while my "Steps" didn't formally contain this final one, it does now...really, I take it for granted that He never lets me go, even in my worst moments - but if I am going to write down steps towards transformation, I cannot forget to document this most important one.  After all, it does go along with "embrace imperfection"...

Final Step:  Look for God's encouragement even when I fail....getting up and beginning again
  "though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again...Proverbs 24:16"
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